A Summer to....Forget

Admittedly, I have been remiss in keeping our family blog updated in the past months. In short, May thru August were just absolutely brutal. There were times (more than I'd like to admit) when I questioned not only my sanity, but our original decision to take that long, arduous road to parenthood. Ours has been a journey riddled with obstacles since the beginning and once the babies arrived, boy did things get...louder...busier...
A friend pointed out in her blog that it is national preemie awareness day, and while our little preemies were much much luckier than so many others to be born no earlier than they were, it still makes me recall the emotional upheaval of this past spring and the months following it.
When the nurse told us that the night of May 3rd seemed like a good night for a birthday, I admit I had not yet prepared myself for the eventuality that I wouldn't be released from the hospital that evening. It had become so routine in the two and half months leading up to it. Too many contractions. Go into the hospital. Get hooked up to an IV. Talk of steroids to slow them down. Monitoring of the preeclampsia. Get sent home. However, I did make sure to remove my icky nail polish before going to the hospital that evening on the seriously off chance that they would be born...I didn't want my first pictures with them to be taken with chipping nail polish. Hey, every girl's got her thing ;)
But, that night Steve and I were hurled into the swirl of parenthood rather rudely. Molly was wheeled out of the OR before I could even see her and Wyatt was rolled into the nursery...Daddy followed close behind to make sure both babies were okay, while I waited rather impatiently to be sewn up and cleaned up.
What nobody told us that first week was all of the potential complications that come with having a preemie...even ones born relatively late by comparison. I admit to crying in the NICU when the neonatologist told us that Molly wouldn't be coming home with us. It was an eventuality I hadn't even thought about...never considered that there would be something to prevent both our twinkies from coming home with us. But, there you have it...one of life's little curveballs.
Once everyone was home, the first 4.5 months of their lives were colored by a kind of frantic desperation I have never known. Pumping six-eight hours a day...4 hours of sleep each night...babies screaming in pain...bottles that didn't work...you name it; it got piled on. Our preemie presents were unfortunately experiencing their own bouts of preemie problems...
So, imagine my surprise when, after all is said and done, we have happy little people at the end of the newborn road. In August, Molly's tummy troubles seemed to finally be under control...and thank goodness, because the only other option was a feeding tube. Wyatt continued to be exceptionally pukey - our living room rug is like a Superfund Site. But, it was like my fairy godmother (or whomever) finally took pity on me, and suddenly our babies started to resemble happier little people...We got to see them smile for the very first time.
This week, Wyatt finally found his giggle...and he hasn't stopped. Molly is perpetually entertained by her brother - can actually be found laughing hysterically at him for minutes on end. And, they both have an obvious love for music. It's so awesome, in the truest sense of the word, to watch them develop into these little people (who aren't so little anymore).
So, in the interest of sharing the love, I will do my best to stay better abreast of the blog...
Happy November!

Happy 4th of July

Fourth of July 2010
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We celebrated the babies' first 4th of July last weekend. It was hotter than all get out here, so we really ended up hibernating in the house most of the day because the babies can't take that kind of heat. But, it was fun just the same. Of course, the babies were having a not so fabulous day and were pretty grouchy (had to give myself a time out), but with all their tummy troubles...I guess it was to be expected. They sure looked cute doing it, though. I couldn't resist getting them each a 4th of July outfit. Molly's said "Mommy's Little Sparkler" - how cute is that?!?!? And, Wyatt's had a little red peace sign on the back. So, they were cute while grumbly.
In other news, my crusade for an answer to this digestive/reflux saga came to a head at the end of last week. After much researching and insistance, we got the babies on a new medication that seems to finally be giving them some relief. It's a totally different protocol than anything our pediatrician or pediatric GI have done, but both were willing to be more agressive because this has been so incredibly extreme. Steve and I also made the decision to switch their formula (I have to supplement their breastmilk because I can't make enough to feed them both exclusively). It got to a point with the hypoallergenic formula they were on that they were both screaming bloody murder at every single feeding. I started to wonder if it was because they simply hated it. So, last Saturday afternoon, Steve and I conducted a taste test of the hypoallergenic formula and my breastmilk (maybe a little cooky)...and oh my god, we couldn't blame them for screaming every time we came at them with a bottle. That formula was absolutely disgusting - suffice it to say, I had to drink half a bottle of tonic water just to get the taste of one sip out of my mouth. The breast milk, on the other hand, tasted like vanilla soy milk.
So, we switched them to an organic brand (it's milk-based, which we were nervous about) and it's been so much better. A girlfriend of mine actually wondered if they could have a sensitivity to pesticides (which aren't found in organic formulas/foods) as opposed to dairy proteins - I never would have even thought of that. But, who knows, it's a possibility. To be on the safe side, I'm still keeping dairy out of my diet, which has been easier than originally anticipated. And, at this point, we're just thankful that they seem to be a bit happier this week. If we can get through next week in the same fashion, then we know we're moving in the right direction. For now, we just wait.
Happy summer, everyone!

Mission: Possible

Daddy, Mommy, Molly & Wyatt - 8 weeks together seemed like a good reason for a stroll to the park down the street from our house.
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Maxx is the new Nana (remember the dog from Peter Pan). He's very sweet with the babies and always checks on them whenever he hears one of them cry - even in the middle of the night. Good boy, Maxx!
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My mom sent me flowers to cheer me up this week. They're so pretty; I just had to take a picture. Hydrangeas remain my perennial favorite!
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Well, this week brought some new revelations. Ellen (my mom's best friend) is still here and has been such an amazing help with the babies. Both Steve and I are a little nervous about what it's going to be like when she leaves. Just having another person to hold a baby is so helpful...but, we will persevere :)

The acid reflux saga continues and has gotten worse in the past two weeks, which has led me to start my own crusade for information and a solution to the problem. Both babies have now connected the dots between eating and hurting, so they're eating much less than they were. Luckily, they're still gaining weight, just much more slowly. So, we have infant oatmeal cereal added to their bottles for extra calories and to help them keep it down (thicker is harder to come up - thank you, gravity). And, now we have been switched to a new medication that promises to be our saving grace. From other mommies I've talked to, and message boards and a discussion with the lead researcher (Dr. Phillips) at the Midwest Acid Reflux Children's Institute, we have a much more comprehensive plan of action. So, we are now a day into the new medicine and so far, so good. No fighting the medicine, no arching the spine and contorting the body or screaming in pain when feeding or projectile vomitting (yeah, that's fun). Still fussy, and not eating as much - but those are behaviors that they're going to have to unlearn. So, it'll take more time. Patience is a virtue, right??? :)

Tomorrow will mark the two-month "anniversary" of the babies' grand entrance to the world. We are rapidly exiting the newborn life...it's a little bittersweet, time flying by so fast as we know we'll never get this time with them back. But, I think both Steve and I are really looking forward to the months ahead when they really start to develop their own little personalities. Though, they have already started, to be sure. In other news, our little MJ flipped herself over (TWICE!!!) this week. Wyatt is probably still a couple of weeks away.

Confessions of a mad mommy...

Wyatt learning to sit up all on his own...
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Big sister Molly giving her big girl chair a spin...
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Well, if someone had told me I'd be thrown into the deep end of motherhood from the get go, I might have turned tail and run as fast as my not-so-little legs could carry me. The last two months with the babies have been some of the most wonderful and yet, most difficult times in my life. I have found myself switching between absolute wonder at the amazing little people they're growing into, and then utter despair as they continue to encounter health issue after health issue. Our poor little beans have had to deal with so much in their short little lives - it's heartbreaking to watch. But, those days when they're feeling a bit more up to the challenges of the world make everything so worth while. They're tough little cookies, stubborn to the core - not unlike their mommy and daddy. If there's anything I hope they learn it's to persevere even when life is tough...because it all too often is. And, they are. I'm amazed at the way these little tiny people continue to greet each day with new wonder, even though they continue to have hurts and pains that we can't yet seem to fix.
Yesterday marked their first 8 weeks of life...and while I look back at the way things have changed, I cannot imagine our life without them. They're getting so big and learning to do new things each day. So, for all the sleepless nights, endless bouts of heartbreaking baby sobs, and frustrations at not being able to fix their hurts...my life as a mommy isn't something I'd trade for anything in the world. We wanted one, but got two in our bargain. For all the times I prayed and begged God to give us the chance to be parents, to help us find a way...I never expected this. They are beautiful little miracles (my very own little science experiments)...and like a woman recently told me...they are the flowers of God. I only hope that we are able to be everything they deserve as parents. But, more than anything, in spite of whatever frustration we may inevitably feel, I hope they always feel loved.

Daddy's 1st Big Day

The family at 7 weeks!


Daddy's 1st Big Day

Yesterday we celebrated Steve's first Father's Day...it was pretty mellow but definitely a time to reflect on the importance of dads in our lives. I've always known that Steve would be a great father. He's sensitive and kind and has a fun energy that says "I'm ready to play." The babies are lucky to have him for their dad.

When they were born (7 weeks ago today!), Steve's first words as they were being taken from me were a very teary "Oh wow." I don't think that simple sense of wonder has faded yet. He's continually amazed by all the little things that the babies do each day - "Oh, look, he's smiling!" or "She's grabbing my finger!" It's really the one thing I looked forward to most throughout the months of the pregnancy (and everything leading up to that)...seeing what he would be like as a dad. Well, folks, he's a pretty awesome one. He shares those middle of the night feedings and isn't afraid of a poopy diaper...but more importantly, he's just very loving and sweet with both of them.

Last week, a woman I met when my mom and I took the babies to Matterhorn Gardens told me that our bundles were the flowers of God. Well, daddy is their very special gardener. Happy Father's Day, Steve...you and I may have our differences every once in a while, but you will always have my vote as the very best daddy our little babies could ever possibly have. We are all lucky to have you.
Love,
G, Molly, Wyatt, Sydney & Maxx

To Grandma's House We Go...sort of

Wyatt & Molly - Our First Rainy Day
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Well, we didn't go to Grandma's house but Grandma came to ours!!! Last Saturday, my mom flew in again for some much-needed help and she's been amazing. We're really lucky that my mom and sister and our family friends have been able to come out and help us as we figure out how to adjust to life with the babies. I can't imagine what we would have done without them - perhaps it was the plea of desperation that they couldn't ignore ;) LOL
The babies are getting bigger every day and it's pretty amazing (if not a little sad) to watch them changing. Molly, in spite of her digestive troubles, is one tough cookie. She has learned how to hold her head up sand her new favorite place to be is on her tummy. It's really cute to watch. She is definitely not content to just lie down any more. She likes to be up and watching what's happening. She can frequently be found in her bouncy chair wherever we are. Wyatt is our little professor. He's definitely the thinker of the two. Usually quieter, he's content to observe what's happening around him and to stare out the window. He's starting to get stronger and bigger, but he still is our small fry :)
We went to see the pediatric gastrointerologist last Friday as we continue to try and work thru these digestive problems the little munchies are having. So, while things are still a long way from perfect, we're trying. Wyatt's reflux seems to be getting a little better with the help of his Zantac. Molly continues to struggle, but she's a trooper. The doctor seems to think she might have a dairy protein allergy on top of her reflux issues. So, we're currently eliminating breast milk from her diet for a few days to see if that really is the problem. If so, then guess who gets to eliminate all dairy from her diet??? That's right, this mommy does. Hopefully, we get to the bottom of this soon because it's heartbreaking to watch the poor little girl. Like I said to the doctor, food should be fun. And, right now, it's really not for either of them...but, especially for her.
This week, the babies also experienced their first rainy day. It was really cute because their jackets were so big on them, but I couldn't resist the photo op. At almost six weeks old, their still pretty pint-sized.

One Month Old

Wyatt & Molly at 1 Month Old
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Strollin' along
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Well, we celebrated the babies' one month "birthday" with a walk to the farmer's market yesterday for lettuce and tomatoes. Let me just say, couldn't have picked a more humid day. I think all three of us were happy to be back inside when we got home. However, they were probably more excited for lunch time :)

In the past month, life sure has changed. There have been moments of despair (what with a total lack of sleep and all), moments of wonder/awe, moments of confusion, moments filled with chaos, and moments filled with a kind of quiet joy that both Steve and I have come to love. My favorite time has come to be my 3am feeding time with the babies...it's quiet and calm (usually) and filled with cuddles.

The babies really are amazing little people - I know all parents say that about their kids. But, they are. They have grown and changed so much in such a short amount of time. I really look forward to the months ahead when they sleep through the night for longer stretches or are a bit more interactive, but I'm already missing those tiny baby moments. It's sad how fast it goes - even with the colic and reflux problems they've been having. It wasn't so long ago that Wyatt fit (with room to spare) on Steve's forearm...or that Molly was trying to crawl up the walls of her isolette in the NICU. It's amazing to think that we did this. Well, with the help of some pretty amazing doctors.

For those of you who don't know, Steve and I had to go through IVF to get our little bundles. So, it's been a long & emotional road (really long road) to get to this point. Starting with multiple rounds of fertility tests, then finding and meeting with our reproductive endocrinologist to a myriad of hormone injections each day to September 7, 2009 when the little eggies were surgically taken from me and inseminated...and life began for Miss Molly and Mr. Wyatt. It was just them and me for 8.5 long months (36 weeks to be exact) and it's been surreal, if not a little awe-inspiring, to realize that these little people belong to us for forever. Coming out of my post-partum haze, I feel really lucky and blessed to have our family - geriatric and epileptic dogs and all. It might be a crazy life, but it's our life...

Happy One Month, babies!!!